I am not at all sure why someone would slurp water from the bathroom sink faucet instead of simply getting a drink from the water fountain just outside the bathroom. Asian students do things differently.
Mammary Chaos
Do you have any more gum?
It is fairly often that I don’t realize I am wearing my shirt (or dress, as the case may be) backwards until I have had a few drinks. This proves two things: I don’t pay attention when I get dressed, and a couple of drinks can really help put things into perspective.
Bastards is typed solely with the left hand. *****the more you know…
So hard for the money.
We work hard for the money.
Warning: caftans should be worn with caution if one will be sitting in a desk chair. I have caught my sleeve on the arm rest of my chair at least 5 times today. It is only a matter of time before it takes me completely down, face first into my keyboard.
On the days I wear this sweater, I actually do control goose boners.
I learned a trick last night, but before I can explain said trick, I must explain why this is a valuable trick. According to an ex boyfriend, I’ve been known to wake up at odd hours of the night and pick my nose. What can I say? Booger dust drives me nuts especially when that shit hinders my ability to BREATHE which is an important part of a good sleep. So, ex boyfriend out, new boyfriend in, me a little bit nervous about unconsciously picking my nose and him noticing. HOWEVER! Last night! Last night I discovered a way to keep even my unconscious self from picking my nose! Stick my finger up new boyfriend’s butt before I go to sleep! Not just a random digit up the a-hole, but whilst we make the sex. Anyway, no matter how furiously you scrub your little finger tips, those who have seen the inside of his sweet dark star, you can’t get the smell all the way off. That shit, pun intended, takes a few hours to fade. Not to mention the fear of butt germs up my nose. If I am afraid of what coke will do to me, my delicate little mucus lined sinuses, and my brain, can you imagine the fears that consume me when it comes to butt germs that close to my nose? Suffice it to say that they are intense enough to help me keep my finger outta there.
The only thing efficient about cramming the office fridge FULL of fucking grapefruit juice is the manner in which you’ve just pissed me off. In one fail swoop, you have pissed me off for approximately three months because that is how long it is going to take for all of the goddamn grapefruit juice to be drank/drunk/DRINKED.
Me and my llama, my llama and me. Llama meaning my boss, of course. I do my part to make the world more like a really good kindergarten classroom, where everything is labeled and pictures trump words. Example: boss man’s face printed on a sheet sized label and stuck on his day planner.
